Gratitude

SO many things have changed in the past year. Myself included. I have seen such a change in my own personality and mindset during this time. I can say with 100% certainty in this moment that I am satisfied. For the first time in my life I am able to look around myself and feel nothing but overwhelming gratitude. I'll run down a little bullet list of what has occurred this year.

- Gryffin is TWO years old. It is so amazing. He talks constantly, he is healthy and happy and the absolute joy of our lives. He sleeps through the night, he eats pretty good (better for the sitter) and he is just a happy little guy. I have continued to learn and grow and put my entire soul into being the parent he deserves. I am grateful to have been chosen to be his mama.

- I have been at my job for nearly a year. There are aspects of the job that I'm not thrilled about, but I am actually very good at what I do. I get at least 2 emails a week telling me how helpful I am and thanking me for putting forth the energy to get what they needed done. I am grateful to not only have a job when so many others dont, but also to have one that I enjoy and thrive in.

-I have made some of the greatest friends I have ever had this year. My job has brought me into contact with genuinely wonderful, caring, good people. I am grateful for these relationships and their presence in my life.

-My husband turned 30 this year. I will never be able to express the love and gratitude I have for this man. The day I met him was the day my soul woke up. He is the only person in this world whom I know really knows me, and for that I am eternally grateful.

-I have lost 21 pounds since March. I have lost this weight naturally and in a healthy way. I feel stronger and happier and proud of myself. I have 7 pounds to go to be pre-baby weight, and then 20 more after that to be at my goal. I am grateful for the support others have given me and so grateful for the strength to work hard.

Several years ago when I left hair stylist school a classmate of mine, a gorgeous girl named Blake, looked me in the eyes and told me that I would never be satisfied. That nothing in this world would ever make me happy because I didn't want to be happy. I wish I could talk to her now. I wish I could tell her how that statement haunted me and how I feared that she was right. And also tell her how totally wrong she was. That my nomadic soul has settled and I have found peace, and how I wish I would have never worried about her judgements because I know now that there is nothing wrong with striving for more and better. There is nothing wrong with refusing to settle for mediocrity. I hear people complain about work, the weather, their family, and everything else around them and I just don't understand. Be thankful you have a job. Be thankful for a rainy day because the earth needs it. If you have people in your life that hinder you, remove them. I don't believe in being obligated to people, if their presence in your life isn't serving your happiness then they need to go.

In October of last year the person that I thought was my best friend in this world and had been for 12 years, left me behind. She sent me a letter in the mail detailing what a terrible friend I was to her, kicking me out of her wedding and absolving herself of her role as godmother to my child. In the last almost 10 months there has not been one instant where I felt the need to contact her. Not one thing that happened made me think of her or need her. Her absence has had no effect on my life, therefore I know now that her presence had no effect either. This is not a judgement on her, it is simply a fact that we were no longer serving a purpose for each other.

I have chosen the joy in my life. I have chosen my little boy's smiling face, my husband's loving arms, the laughter of my friends, and the strength of my own spirit. I am happy and so very gracious.

Hear that Blake? You helped me get here and for that I am also grateful, but you were wrong :)